Axel: Feeling + Stone hearts= ?

Shauna and I when I was 5 and she was 2. Or maybe younger ;D

Work Makes me feel like this picture above.

From now on, I will find a picture every week I post and Talk about why exactly I feel like I do.

_{Now I don't want to be a negative person because I am not, I just hate feeling powerless, because I'd love to make the world a happier place. I'd love to see people smile all the time, and never be negative or hurt or upset, I wish there were no such thing as "meanness" and "self absorbency" but alas there is, and I feel powerless because I can never change anyone, I can never even change myself.

So yeah, Feeling a tad let down to say. I think what made me think long and hard and realise why I'm emotionally torturing myself at the moment is, because I hate being treated like shit , and I just thought and sort of had an epiphany-like vision of well maybe everyone is like that, and I'm out of the group again.

I strive to be nice and sincere and always make people laugh, I go out of my way to make people happy, Sure sometimes I have a "cat's arse" face on, but I am allowed to get pissed off, I know I can be nasty aswell, and that actually pains me, I think everyone or most people I know, never actually think before they say things to people, and this isn't just my age group, but many people I know that are more than three times the age of me even.

I just do not show my anger/upset with words or physical violence like many do to me. And well all I'm trying to say is, I wish there was no such thing as nastiness. And love was everywhere for everyone.

Sorry for my super long paragraphs but I really could not see where I could break off into something different, It had to come out. I was crying on my bed because work made me feel like this. No matter how much you try and please people or be nice or "act" super happy all the time some people just will not like you. I guess that frustrates me, because they haven't even taken a chance to get to know me to even begin to judge me.

But hey! we all judge unconsciously don't we? Half the time you think something and your like " My god!" I can't believe my head could think that about another, let alone someone I do not know." Probably not exactly that, but pretty much, your shocked with yourself or even feel guilty for what you think about others sometimes.

It's natural and everyone does it. I just wish it wasn't natural and it wasn't normal and no one did it. I think alot of problems would be solved in the world if people grasped other people's feelings and actually maybe took some time to care or think about what they say or do before they do things.

The brain likes to jump to conclusions and oh how many people love drama. It's just ridiculous. I wish I could change everyone sometimes. But being them with their pros and cons I guess I love them the way they are.

Onto a better note, I started school this week my final year of year 12. I'm currently supposed to be sleeping but I had an urge to blog about my feelings as I have not wrote anything in a while and I needed to get that out. Now I'm feeling like this

And well just getting back into the swing of things I guess, with school and sorting out my time and managing it and also working aswell. It's a bit crazy at the moment because I'm trying to familiarise myself with sleep routines/exercise routines and study and work routines. It's not very easy to start off with after a 6 week holiday of doing pretty much anything I wanted. Q___Q LOL

I am though feeling completely happy and really enjoying life at the moment. A few sad things happened in the holidays but it's odd that I feel very fine. I had a few pretty bad family things happen and one of my dogs passed away a bit after Christmas. But I'm completely alright. I feel fine, like none of it happened at all. It's a little daunting but maybe I'm just becoming more mature and accepting life as it is. You can not change everything to suit it your way I guess. And that is what I have to keep telling myself so things do not disappoint and upset me.

But yes perfectly fine! Like that cute little sushi picture above. That is my face right now Haha xD SERIOUSLY.

And, I spent alot alot alot! of time with my friends on the holidays, Matt, Anthony and my beautiful Girlfriend Gem-Gem. <3

And I completely agree with Karisma, Negative people make you feel like they are sucking the life out of you.

I say this as well, look at me everyone. I am happy and doing fine but I do not feel the need to profess my utter most hurt and wishes for death all over other people's profile just because for example "My phone bill just came and its 500 dollars, now I have to get my phone cut off for a week...I hate my f***ing life I want to die, Don't you just hate waking up?"

It's stupid shit like that, that well most of the people do to themselves to make them like that. Seriously, If anyone has problems with their lives, go get them fixed. Instead of sitting around in denial and self pity and blogging or facebooking all the time about how your life sucks and no one understands and blah blah blah. I feel like people come to me and scream their problems at me all the time, everywhere I go. ENOUGH. Just deal with it yourself and fix it because no one else can do it for you. You have to do it for you, and I'm sure you can :)

But off that note haha, I have a horrible habit/tendency to go off on a tangent. LOL But yes, I will write more through out the week. Enjoy. :heart:}

A dream is a wish your heart makes

Some funny/happy pictures to make yous all feel good.